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March 31, 2013

George W. Bush, now retired, thank God, has lately been home, making paintings of himself. In my favorite one, he’s in his bathtub. We see only his legs in the murky water, starting at about mid-thigh and going down past his toes, to the running faucet.
 
But a more su...

March 18, 2012

Woman to pharmacist: I need some birth-control pills.
Pharmacist: Of course. I'll just need the prescription from your congressman.

Q: What’s the difference between a fertilized egg, a corporation and a woman?
A: In Oklahoma, one of them isn't considered a person.

Th...

June 26, 2011

Ever accident prone, Chris and I have accidentally adopted a puppy.  This began as the idea of one of the teenagers we accidentally acquired sometime back.

“Let’s get a puppy!” she suggested.

“No and bleepity-bleep no!’’ we replied.

Still, the unwelcome idea, once s...

May 30, 2010


I met a sweet little baby named Barbara the other day.  Just kidding.  There are no babies named Barbara.  Name fashion has moved on.  So where are the Barbaras, the Brendas, the Donnas, the Connies; where are the Pattys, Peggys, Kathys and Susans?  I can speak for on...

May 2, 2010


I recently learned that my Grandma Guy was a daughter of immigrants.  Of course, I knew we’re all descended from immigrants unless we are Native American, but I never gave much thought to where my ancestors came from.  To me, we were just part of the big, boring Wonde...

November 23, 2008

The downtown neurosurgeon's waiting room needed a style makeover but at least the magazines were current and they had The New Yorker.

My husband Chris and I waited for my appointment; another couple waited as well.  The other woman didn’t look so different from me:  r...

September 28, 2008

Barracuda.  A slimy predator.

One thing about the barracuda:  She has inspired a lot of new feminists, such as Sean Hannity and John McCain.  Thank heavens they're finally on the side of women everywhere, keeping an eye out for sexism, blowing the whistle when anyone...

August 24, 2008

A helpful postcard from Sen. Orrin Hatch arrived the other day.

The topic: the upcoming transition to digital television.  Hatch wrote to let all Utahns know that he's asked his staff to set up a series of free seminars to help constituents understand what’s going to...

February 24, 2008

I was a good student in fifth grade.  I sat in my East Millcreek classroom, paying attention to the teacher.

One day she told us any boy in our class could become president of the United States.  She meant to impress us, to leave us awestruck at the possibility of Ame...

March 25, 2007

Cihuacoatl, Mayan Earth Goddess, stands guard over a tableau of Latino musicians, peddlers, farm workers and children.  Brown-skinned laborers pick vegetables while acres of green farmland stretch to purple mountains beyond.  A woman unfurls a scroll entitled 'The Gold...

March 11, 2007

Matilda Gage is being honored this year during Women's History Month, a special time set aside each March in tribute to women's long and difficult progress toward equality.  The National Women’s History Project chooses several honorees each year.

Gage, a newspaper edi...

January 29, 2007

The federal government recently put on “public information sessions" to feign interest in Utahns’ opinions on the proposed Divine Strake weapons test.

At these sessions, written comments were accepted but there was no forum for people to verbalize their thoughts, exce...

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All of Barb Guy's columns appear here. There are 159 of them, beginning in 2003 and ending in 2013. The newest one is on top and you can work your way backwards if you like.